Wednesday, November 21, 2007
Its the end of a busy working week and I can't help but feel little sad that there is not many weeks of this part time working business left. In January I return to full time work.
Becoming a mother to Ruby was a life long dream. As long as I can remmber, having a family was the most inspiring feeling of all. It was a long process and with a little bit of help my little Ruby was born on the 31st of July 2006. Her birth was silent, it was the most amazingly serene experience I have ever had. I thought giving birth came with screaming and shouting and lots of pain, in fact I was so scared of giving birth I had booked a c-section. It was Ruby who decided to come early and forced the whole 'natural delivery' on me that gave me no other option but to do this whole giving birth process the 'natural way'.
So here I am 16 months later and contemplating my future. I need to return full time for financial reasons....... I have been at my job for over 8 years and long service is looming....but on the other hand I don't want to miss out on my daughters childhood.....so the dilemma is a big one.
Today marks the start of 5 days off and Ruby and I are packing up the car and heading north to Tewantin for some desevred R&R and to catch up with my family.
My parents place is one place that I totally feel that tranquility that I crave for. Its set on the Noosa river tucked away in the 'inlet'. With nature at your doorstep, a cool river breeze and the amazing river for your pleasure, its hard not to relax and wish that once again the Noosa region was my home.
I desperately want to leave Brisbane, not that I hate the city, but I need a change of scenery and to slow down on the full paced life that I currently lead. I want to live near the ocean or live move into a rural community that we can 'breathe' more easily in.
So I am looking forward to my little getway and spening the next few days enjoying the company of my little daughter and my family.
Monday, November 12, 2007
The past few weeks have been lived at full throttle with no time spare. I sometimes feel like a machine. Amongst the unpacking, sorting, cleaning & organising has been a non stop tralil of friends and family visiting us, I really don't know how we came about having so many good friends. Along with all of the above I am trying to cram a full time job into three days so I forever seem to be a little behind on everything.
Things are good though, I just have to remind myself that I should appreciate having such a good life and that I need to enjoy these precious moments with loved ones and that in time I will be able to squeeze in a little bit more of 'me time'.
Tomorrow I will post my 'to do' list which will give me inspiration to get in and get it all done. But tonight, I have put some beautiful Lavender in the oil burner and will retreat early to bed ready for tomorrow's hectic day.
Still dreaming of that serenity and peace.....
Thursday, October 25, 2007
We moved from our old place into our lovely new home last week. Its just such a huge thing to pack up all of your belongings and move them to another dwelling. Then you have all the cleaning at the old place and all the cleaning at the new place, the unpacking, the organisation of where all your furniture, belongings & trinkets will be placed, the new routines and figuring out all the shortcuts to work/kindy/family.
It has been a long journey and along the way Adam and I have forgotten all the things that we love about each other and just focussed on all the things we don't like about each other. For example, his lack of domesticity, he fondness for the Simpsons every night at 6.00pm when its peak time in our house with dinner, bathing baby and getting her to bed, his ability to sit down and have a beer while I am cleaning up and trying to keep our house in order. These are the things I have been focussing on lately.
This afternoon, I had a reminder as to why I love this man. His good friend that he has known since childhood made some comments about me that Adam thought inappropriate. Without hesitation, he jumped to my defence (in my absence). When I had a moment to go through these events in my mind, I realised this is one of his strongest assests - loyalty to his family. No matter what (even if I am wrong) he will totally support me, he encourages every little hobby or interest I might have (taking an interest himself) and he always will defend me with his life. I must always try and remember that amogst the things that irritate me, when it comes to the big things - he is 100% rock solid. I love you Ads and thank you for putting me first in your life.
Monday, October 15, 2007
Well finally we have approval to move into our new little rental house. I am very excited. Our current place is just 'unwelcoming' and not kid friendly, and hot, and not at all a very nice place to live. The new house has this homely feeling with such a gorgeous garden and play area for our little girl to explore in.
So we move in tomorrow, it has been worth the wait.
We are in desperate need of a new beginning and hopefully this just what my little family needs to get back motivated and start living that peaceful, serene life that I dream about.
We have been waiting patiently all weekend to find out whether we have been accepted into the house we have applied for. This has been quite painful due to the fact we wanted to move in LAST Friday and here we are on Sunday night still not quite sure if we should pack the final things. Unfortunately the real estate cannot get in touch with the owner!
The new house has this amazing feeling about it - I think I will be crushed if we are not accepted (we have two little chihuahua's). I can just see where all my porcelain pieces and shabby chic decor will be appropriately placed around the house. I can smell my lavender burning and favourite cone insence wafting in from its outside home. I am going to relish this huge kitchen complete with dishwasher and return to one of my favourite pastimes - cooking.
The garden is so friendly for all family members and I know that some of my much searched serenity will come from this lovely area. My pots will be filled with many herbs & of course many varieties of Lavender.
So this weekend has been frustrating to say the least along with family bbq's (in laws) with some strange, but interesting people & endless amounts of packing, but hopefully it will be all worthwhile to move into this friendly, homely & welcoming house.
Saturday, October 13, 2007
I don't remember how old I was when my mother bought me the set of four Brambly Hedge books; Summer, Winter, Autumn & Spring. I do remember, however knowing they were very special and that they were somthing to keep. Maybe I was 4 or five.
I have treasured these four books for over 30 years and now I am reading to my own daughter.
It was while on maternity leave that I re-discovered my passion for these books and began to collect the Royal Doultan figurines. I still have a long way to go before completing the whole collection (if that is possible.....) but am starting to be impressed by my ever growing numbers. My search has taken me to places all over the world (cyber world that is..), buying through ebay from people far away and in the strangest places.
Here is my collection below:
I cannot pick a favourite, however the one at the back with the two mice cuddling is very sentimental to me. Its called 'Your Safe' - when Primrose is finally found after getting herself lost.
These books are enchanting and as a little girl I used to day dream about being part of this little mouse community.
What a beautiful day it was.....not too hot and not too cold. Perfect for a morning at the park with my little girl. We packed the pram with goodies for morning tea & lunch and set off for our little adventure.
I am quite an avid walker, however this is due to trying to keep my body weight to some sort of acceptable level, not really to enjoy the 3 lane highways surrounding my walking route.
So this time we took it slow, meandering down the quiet streets amd ejoying the gorgeous rays of sunshine that were beaming down.
We finally got the park and we ate our morning tea together, just Ruby & I. She leant over an snuggled into me as if she knew this was a special moment. My love for her is like nothing I've ever felt before and I feel so priviliged to have this beautiful child bestowed upon me.
As she crawled around the play ground, I jumped on the adult swing and and just felt this euphoric feeling as the wind swept across me as I got higher and higher. I love that feeling of just swinging, it is so theraputic and for those moments my stress of the last few weeks house hunting slipped away from my mind as I enjoyed this perfect day with my daughter.
After another play on the all the rides and a few more snacks we weaved our way home through the back streets. My little girl snoozed all the way home after a gorgeous morning the park.
Just a drea of a day.
Friday, October 12, 2007
1. to not be so hard on myself
2. allow myself to day dream again
3. enjoy my life
4. stay positive - good things come to good people
5. be calm and embrace challenges
6. cherish the people I love
7. be forgiving
9. love your body
10. live peacefully
I am in desperate need of some inspiration, some spiritual healing, some healthy and interesting conversation. I sit her on this warm summers night with a freshly brewed cup of coffee, my pure lavender in the oil burner is wafting through to the room in which I am typing and my favourtie candle is flickering next to me. To me this is relaxing - tranquility. My creative urge is trying to burst out of me however my darling daughter (who I love deeply and is the most gorgeous adorable creature to ever enter my life) robs me of getting my teeth stuck into anything really challenging and of course the daily grind of household chores sadly leave very little time for anything but a few stolen moments to myself each day.
We are moving house, which to me is an ugly, ugly task. It has been very stressful we do not actually own a home, we are on the renting merry-go-round. We must jump hoops, be polite when we are treated like vermin, we must wait for real estates to call us back at THEIR convernience, we must fill out endless amounts of forms and remember endless amounts of information regading our past history and then to be told that we were not accepted due to our 2 little chihuahuas.....oohhh my patience has been tested. The chomomile & lavender oil on the temples is mildly helping.
So you see, I love my life but one little thing is missing, my need for a creative outlet to say what I want to say and be who I want to be.
My blog is titled Lavender Days as to me this paints a dreamy picture of sitting amongst a serene, tranquil spot surrounded by beautiful scented flowers and of course lots of lavender with a pot of tea and and a good book. Every time I smell lavender it brings on this dream to my mind and manages to arouse my senses like nothing other.